The test essays that follow were written as a result to the prompt that seems below. The rater commentary that follows each essay that is sample how a reaction satisfies the requirements for that rating. An Argument” Scoring Guide for a more complete understanding of the criteria for each score point, see the ” Analyze.
In studies Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, sailing and fishing) amongst their favorite activities that are recreational. The Mason River moving through the town is seldom employed for these pursuits, nonetheless, therefore the town park division devotes little of its spending plan to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For decades there were complaints from residents in regards to the quality regarding the river’s water as well as the river’s scent. As a result, the state has established intends to tidy up Mason River. Utilization of the river for water-based activities is consequently certain to increase. The town federal federal government need for this reason devote more cash in this present year’s budget to riverside facilities that are recreational.
Write a response where you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions regarding the argument. Make sure to explain the way the argument is dependent on the presumptions and exactly exactly what the implications are in the event that presumptions prove unwarranted.
Essay Reaction — Score 6
This author’s argument does not make a cogent case for increased resources based on river use while it may be true that the Mason City government ought to devote more money to riverside recreational facilities. You can easily understand just why town residents would require a cleaner river, but this argument is rife with holes and presumptions, and therefore, maybe perhaps perhaps not strong sufficient to lead to increased money.
Citing studies of town residents, the writer states town resident’s passion for water activities. It is really not clear, nevertheless, the validity and scope of this study. For instance, the study might have expected residents when they choose utilising the river for water-based activities or wish to visit a dam that is hydroelectric, which may have swayed residents toward river recreations. The test might not need been representative of town residents, asking just those residents who reside upon the river. The study may have already been 10 pages very very long, with 2 concerns specialized in river activities. We simply have no idea. Unless the survey is fully representative, legitimate, and dependable, it could not be used to efficiently back the writer’s argument.
Also, the author signifies that residents don’t use the river for swimming, boating, and fishing, despite their professed interest, because water is polluted and smelly. While a polluted, smelly river may likely reduce river activities, a tangible connection amongst the resident’s absence of river usage plus the river’s ongoing state is certainly not effortlessly made. Though there has been complaints, we don’t know if there has been many complaints from a range that is wide of, or simply from a or two people who made many complaints. To bolster his/her argument, the writer would reap the benefits of applying a normed study asking an array of residents why they just do not currently utilize the river.
Building upon the implication that residents don’t use the river as a result of quality for the river’s water as well as the scent, the writer shows that a river tidy up can lead to increased river usage. In the event that river’s water quality and smell result from dilemmas that can easily be cleaned, this might be real. For instance, if the decreased water quality and aroma is due to air pollution by factories over the river, this conceivably might be remedied. If the quality and aroma outcomes through the normal calcium deposits in the water or surrounding stone, this isn’t always true. There are many figures of water which emit a smell that is strong of as a result of geography for the area. This isn’t something apt to be afffected by a clean-up. Consequently, a river tidy up might have no effect upon river use. Whether or not the river’s quality has the capacity to be enhanced or otherwise not, the writer doesn’t efficiently show a match up between water quality and river use.
On a clean, breathtaking, safe river frequently contributes to a town’s home values, results in increased tourism and income from those that visited make use of the river, and an improved overall well being for residents. For those reasons, town federal government may decide to spend money on enhancing riverside leisure facilities. But, this writer’s argument isn’t most likely notably persuade the populous city goverment to allocate increased money.
Rater Commentary for Essay Response — Score 6
This response that is insightful essential presumptions and completely examines their implications. The essay suggests that the proposition to pay more about riverside leisure facilities rests on three dubious presumptions, specifically:
- that the study provides a basis that is reliable budget preparation
- that the river’s air air pollution and smell would be the only reasons behind its limited leisure usage
- that efforts to clean the water and remove the odor shall achieve success
By showing that every presumption is extremely suspect, this essay shows the weakness associated with argument that is entire. For instance, paragraph 2 highlights that the study might possibly not have used a sample that is representative could have provided limited alternatives, and may have included hardly any concerns on water activities.
Paragraph 3 examines the connection that is tenuous complaints and restricted utilization of the river for relaxation. Complaints about water quality and smell could be originating from only a few individuals and|people that are few, whether or not such complaints are wide ranging, other very different facets could be a great deal more significant in reducing river use. Finally, paragraph 4 describes geologic features may avoid river clean-up that is effective. Details such since these give compelling help.
In addition, careful organization means that every brand new point builds upon the last people. As an example, note the clear transitions at the start of paragraphs 3 and 4, also the sequence that is logical of within paragraphs (specifically paragraph 4).
Even though this essay does include errors that are minor it nevertheless conveys a few ideas fluently. Note the effective term alternatives (age.g., “rife with . . . presumptions” and “may have actually swayed residents”). In addition, sentences are not only diverse; additionally they show skillful embedding of subordinate elements.
because this reaction provides cogent study of the argument and conveys meaning skillfully, it earns a rating of 6.
Essay Reaction — Score 5
Mcdougal for this proposition to improve the plan for Mason City riverside leisure facilities has an interesting argument but to maneuver ahead from the proposal would certainly need additional information and thought. Although the correlations stated are rational and probable, concealed facets that avoid the populous City from diverting resources to this project.
for example, think about the survey ratings among Mason City residents. is the fact that such regard that is high water-based activities will lead to use. But, study responses can scarcely be applied as indicators of real behavior. Many studies carried out after winter time vacations expose those who list workout and slimming down being a principal interest. Yet every occupation will not equal a gym membership that is new. Perhaps the wording associated with study outcomes stay vague and ambiguous. This allows for many other favorites while water sports may be among the residents’ favorite activities. What stays unknown may be the priorities for the public that is general. Do they prefer these water activities above a softball industry or soccer field? Will they be ready to sacrifice the golf that is municipal for better riverside facilities? Certainly the study scarcely provides information that is enough discern future usage of improved facilities.
Closely from the studies is the bold presumption that a cleaner river will result in increased usage. Even though it is maybe not research paper topics illogical you may anticipate some increase, at what level shall individuals start to utilize the river? The response to this concern calls for out of the reasons our residents utilize or do not use the river. Is river water quality the limiting that is primary to use or the not enough docks and piers? Are individuals keen on water-based activities as compared to activities that are recreational these are typically currently involved with? These concerns may help the town government forecast exactly just how much river use will increase and also to designate a proportional enhance towards the spending plan.
Likewise, is positive concerning the state vow to wash the river. hear the origin associated with the sounds and start thinking about any motives that are ulterior. Is it a campaign 12 months while the plans a campaign vow through the state agent? what’s the schedule when it comes to effort that is clean-up? Will the state fully fund this task? We could imagine the abuse of funds in renovating the riverside facilities and then view the buildings that are new into dilapidation as their state drags the river clean-up.
Final, doesn’t give consideration to where these funds that are additional be redirected from. The present budget situation needs to be examined to ascertain if this enhance may be afforded. In a way, the town may possibly not be ready to draw cash far from other key tasks from road improvements to schools and training. naively assumes that can appear without forethought simply on where it’s going to result from.
Examining all of the different perspectives and facets associated with increasing riverside leisure facilities, the argument doesn’t justify increasing the spending plan. While the proposal does highlight , additional information is needed to justify any action.